Seconds Into Years

Hello, my name is Katie. I am an eighteen year old with a heart, a mind, and a weekly paycheck. I am in a three-year long (and counting) long distance relationship with this guy. We are inseparable, except in the literal sense. I am a proud New Jersey Devils fan living across the border on Long Island, New York.

Things I love: James, cats, chocolate, Supernatural, The Office, horror movies that are actually good, books that are actually good, hockey, my job, my friends and sunflowers.

Things I hate: The New York Islanders, majority of the sci-fi genre, Harry Potter, people who think lesbians are "awesome", people who think lesbians are "terrible", the color brown, fruit, New York Rangers, Islanders fans, and milk.

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The Comparison

I prepared myself this time. Sure, I got up way too early. I held my ipod in my lap as it played the most upbeat, happy love songs in my library. I felt the butterflies in my stomach, the slight smile in my mouth. I watched a million trees and lakes move past my eyes as slow as they could, wishing they’d only go faster. I saw that bridge, and my smile grew wider. I leaned on the edge of my seat, and I felt the pounding in my chest. My heart was aching with excitement.

The train ride going up to see you was just the same as all the others, except that I prepared myself this time.

As I daydreamed of hugging you too tightly and kissing you too long for the first time in a long time, I knew that this feeling was short-lived. I knew that it would only be a minute until this train ride would change for the worse, despite that I was staying with you for an entire week. It’s funny how time works.

My heart was aching with contentment, and I was mellow for the entire three hours. But I prepared myself. I knew what was coming. I knew to expect it, and yet it still hit me hard.

8 days of kissing, holding, playing, hitting, watching, talking, listening, shivering, sleeping, loving, lusting, living…it only lasted one minute. One short minute of bliss, and I was going back on that train again. I hugged you too lightly and kissed you too shortly, and then the train tore me from you.

Your last kiss turned the butterflies into a block of cement, and I pressed my hand against the window so you could see where I’d found my seat. The train pulled away, and I looked back for as long and far as I was able, catching every last glimpse of you that was possible, until you were gone. You disappeared into a world of trees and lakes that were rushing past my eyes at lightning speed, and I wished they would only go slower. My ipod sang the slowest love songs to me, and I looked at our pictures saved to my camera. I saw the city lights and sighed as we went underground. My heart was aching with nostalgia.

The train ride back home was the same as all the others, and I can never prepare myself enough for this kind of love. Some people call it long distance, I just call it euphoria. 


Posted: 1 year ago

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    this is so sad… :(
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